Take Five Lotto Ticket #1:

Fuck.

Ticket #10:

WTF is this? I won a "Take 5 Lotto Ticket." What does that mean? Is that another scratch ticket? That'd be cool...

Nope.

Just looked it up. It's a lotto ticket. but hey! I could win like $20,000! YEAH! I'm going to go get it right now!

Shit just started to look up!

Ticket #9:

I swear to fucking GOD! WHY THE SHIT CAN'T I WIN THIS! THE ODDS WERE IN MY FUCKING FAVOR!

Nothing.

Ticket #8:

Who does this ticket think he is... fuck this ticket.

Ticket #7:

Great. $1. I won fucking one dollar. I'm going to go buy half a slice a pizza with this. Fuck.

Ticket #6:

This is bullshit right here.

Ticket #5:

Nada.

Ticket #4

Close... almost won $5,000... but didn't. Fuck.

Ticket #3

Nyet. Shyet.

Ticket #2

Nope. Not yet...

Ticket Number 1:

Nothing so far, but here's to hoping!

All the results!

Here I am holding my tickets:

And there you are at your computer! Reading in real time all the results of my scratch ticket party! This blog will let you know the results of all of my tickets, but since you started reading here you can say "I knew him before he was a millionaire."

See you when I'm rich!